Ballroom Dancing in the Park

I don't know why but I have been having so much trouble logging into Blogger due to the stupid TGF. I have all these things in my head that I want to write about but can't login. Then when I CAN get in, I forget or don't feel like writing anymore.. anyhoo. These are some posts I wrote up offline...

Sunday 26 August, 2007

Once again we had a lazy weekend and on Sunday night we decided to go out for dinner. Mike suggested Waga's again and after reading too many free city magazines about restaurant reviews, my brain was all fuzzy so I agreed. I went online and found the address of the one closest to us which was apparently in the Hongqiao/Gubei area, in Maxdo Center. We didn't know where the taxi driver was taking us but wow, it was only 1.6km away from our house! We couldn't believe it was so close. Not only that but there were many other shops and restaurants there too and the area seemed really nice. There was also a ritzy Sheraton Grand (5 star) hotel there too. So we definitely plan to go back to that area!

While we were waiting for the waitress to bring us our food, this guy started looking over at Mike, and Mike started looking at him. I wondered why the heck they were staring at each other so strangely. It so happened that they had met once before! Their companies had competed against each other at a basketball competition. Hmm... interesting. So we chatted to him for a while. He is from the States and had been in Shanghai for 8 months and lived in Songjiang (woop woop) and decided to move to Zhongshan Park.

After dinner we went across the road to Hongqiao Park (it used to be called something else, as was mentioned in Lonely Planet) where it was pitch black but the park was lit up by lamp posts. It was an interesting sight. Music was floating through the air, the air was balmy yet a comfortable 26 degrees with a nice breeze. There was a big group of middle aged and older couples and friends ballroom dancing to Chinese-style ballroom music! It was an amazing sight to see. It was one of those moments, like when I'm watching a great film where my heart just fills with happiness and content even though the event has nothing to do with me. There were many spectators like us standing around to gawk at them too.

I was just amazed by their skill, their flexibility, their agility and their smiles. They all seemed so happy. It was as if they didn't have a care in the world. Half the people were wearing very very casual clothes too. Almost pajama like, but it didn't even matter.

It got me thinking to something else I wanted to post before. At our gym there are people of all ages going there. From teens to people in their 60s or older. Many high school aged kids play basketball while the oldies play table tennis and badminton. There are also younger kids who swim in the pool or play badminton. At gyms in Australia there are no basketball courts or table tennis rooms. At my gym in Australia I would say almost everyone would be between the age of 20-35. I was a bit naive to the whole gym thing and expected to see fat, unhealthy people when I first joined. However, I was shocked to find that most people didn't even look like they needed to go to a gym! There was hardly anyone who looked overweight and certainly not many people over the age of 40.

Sport is big in Australia and most kids and teenagers are quite active in playing sport. However, after high school I think most people don't ever take it up again, at least not on a regular basis. I also think that Australians (and Westerners) are very image and self conscious. Hence the 'fat' people are too ashamed to go to the gym because they are scared of what people will think of them, which is fair enough. Also I noticed the way people were dressed at my gym, wearing the latest fancy gym clothes and name brand shoes. However, in China, no one gives two hoots about what others think (I think this is where I am very Asian as I usually don't care either).

Therefore, the fact that these dancers were old, not necessarily wearing picture-perfect clothes or shoes, not necessarily that great at dancing, didn't matter. The fact of the matter was that they were having fun and enjoying it, and being outside and getting fit. Almost everyone there (around 50-70 years of age) was slim and healthy looking. Most of the ladies were tiny. I really hope to be that happy and fit when I am their age!

Eating habits, food, swimsuits, and underpants!

I think too much. I spend all day and all my life constantly thinking. I read too much which leads to more thinking. I'm fascinated by psychology and have read quite a few psychology related books. I am interested in the correlation between eating habits, health and body weight/size, and the mind.

One of the topics that is constantly on my mind is food, and eating habits. Like all women, I have a strange relationship with food. I have a very strange one, in that I've never met anyone with the same characteristics!

I've never had a problem with weight. I can eat what I want and never gain weight (bet you all hate me now). That being said though, I have a small appetite. I get full quickly and hungry quickly. I am a fussy eater. I will only eat something if I like it or want it. Otherwise I just won't touch it (even if I am starving). No, I don't have an eating disorder.

Growing up as kids, we could have whatever food we wanted. We could have McDonalds, oven fried items, snacks like potato chips, soft drinks, the works. Couple this with the fact that I was always a quiet indoors sedentary sort of kid I am still amazed I was lighter and thinner than the average kid. Maybe I just got 'good' genetics, who knows? Friends would always come to our house and be amazed at how much stuff we had in our kitchen. I have to admit I think my mother liked to hoard food. However, my sister and I both have small appetites and not much interest in food so a lot of went to waste, unfortunately. We barely even touched anything. I mean we ate it, we just didn't wolf it down like most kids would after school.

Now, I am a fairly healthy eater but I quite often indulge in chocolate, potato chips and other common snack items. I hate soft drink. I hate the bubbles, I hate the fizz, I hate the sweetness and artificialness. I never touch the stuff. I think my brain was already wired from a young age not to like unhealthy stuff. Even as a child I would pick the fat off meat and not eat chicken skin. I hated anything oily and didn't eat fried stuff often.

I love to eat out and when I do I tend to pig out as I hate wasting food that we've paid good money for. But when we eat at home I don't enjoy the aspect of eating so much and my family and husband roll their eyes at me when I take 3 hours to eat my dinner.

So, as you can see I am pretty screwed up food wise! Haha

I found this article which was interesting.

"In less developed countries in Asia, people are primarily intuitive eaters," said Hawks. "They haven't been conditioned to artificially structure their relationship with food like we have in the United States. They've been conditioned to believe that the purpose of food is to enjoy, to nurture. You eat when you're hungry, you stop when you're not hungry any more. They have a much healthier relationship with food, far fewer eating disorders, and interestingly, far less obesity."

Hawks says that "normal" dieting in the United States doesn't result in long-term weight loss and contributes to food anxiety and unhealthy eating practices, and can even lead to eating disorders.

"What makes intuitive eating different from a diet is that all diets work against human biology, whereas intuitive eating teaches people to work with their own biology, to work with their bodies, to understand their bodies." said Hawks. "Rather than a prescriptive diet, it's really about increasing awareness and understanding of your body. It's a nurturing approach to nutrition, health and fitness as opposed to a regulated, coercive, restrictive approach. That's why diets fail, and that's why intuitive eating has a better chance of being successful in the long term."

I have noticed this since coming here that people are snacking all the time. And not always on healthy stuff either! I guess for most Asians eating is a pleasurable activity to be enjoyed whereas in the West it's looked down upon. Getting back to the psychology thing I think that's why people binge eat or starve themselves or end up with eating disorders. Their mind is all screwed up because they have been told that such and such is 'bad' but then they crave it so they buy it and eat it, feel enormous guilt, etc etc. Then there are the people who 'comfort eat' who use eating and food as some sort of morale booster (definitely not me!) Also stress... what I tend to find is that those who are overweight will put on weight when stressed, and those who are underweight will lose weight when they are stressed. It's as if the body is going into "stop, you are being stupid!" mode, "stop stressing! see what you are doing to yourself?"

Anyway that's my little essay for the day!

Zzz...

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In other news - Despite being fairly thin (I think?) I have a fat bottom!!

I decided I needed a new swimsuit and went shopping for it on Sunday night with the hubby. Boy oh boy was it hard work. It took me about an hour to get one. First of all, I am totally pear shaped and noone believes me when I tell them I need a bigger size. The salesladies in the fashion department frustrate me to no end. I say I want to try on "this" and hold up the item and they go, "Let me take a look... nah, this is too big for you. Here is an M." and I'm smiling and trying to be polite but deep down (after it has happened a billion times) I want to strangle her, "No, you don't understand, I have really big hips. I know it doesn't look like it..." and well, basically they don't believe me until I step out of the change room and the size LARGE pair of pants fit me perfectly. I have one in a size M and one in a size XL but most of my pants are size L.

So anyway, I wanted to buy a two-piece tankini (because I don't like one pieces and am too chicken to wear a skimpy bikini) but it appears you have to buy it as a set. In Australia (and US and most Western countries I'm sure) they sell them as 'separates' so you can not only mix and match colours and patterns you can mix and match sizes (great for us pear people). Hmm..

Anyway, this lady was trying to get me to squeeze into a pair of size M pants. Umm.. I literally could only get them on over my knees. I couldn't even fit into the L. There goes my morale!! In Australia I have to buy the smallest size possible and here I have to buy the largest size possible!!

So after an hour of exhaustion and almost pulling my waist-length hair out and getting myself, my hair and the swimsuit all knotted up whilst in the change room - I finally made my choice. Let's not forget the salesladies yelling "Xian sheng" 先生 rather comically, and other staff and customers looking at me when I stepped out of the change room (ugh). Luckily they let me get two different sizes though. So I got a top in size L and bottoms in size XL.

Hubby also got some men's swim trunks.

So it was exhausting but worth it. I can't believe I got the little overskirt, the cap, and a beachbag for free too. You never get any freebies in Australia. Last night we took our new gear out for a 'spin' in our gym's pool. :) Whilst I was in the change room and pool I noticed some very familiar patterns - of swimsuits I had considered.

Another thing is underwear. I have had to buy size L underpants and hubby who usually takes a L in Australia has to buy XXL ones. One time he bought some XL ones and they were too small for him. I put them on for a laugh and amazingly they fit me like a glove. I can't believe I am admitting to wearing men's underpants! hahah.. I've gone from wearing size S undies in Australia to size XL men's ones in China - C..r...a...z...y !!! :D

What does an expat wife do with her time?

I'm kind of getting sick of being asked this question and I thought I would get my thoughts out there once and for all.

It's funny you don't see retired people constantly being asked, "What do you do with ALL your free time?" but I guess it's totally incomprehensible that someone under the age of 60 (who is not a full-time student or full-time mother) does not work full time. I guess people look down on you. A LOT. Look at Paris Hilton for example!

There seems to be four types of people in this world:

1. Those who are workaholics and feel that if you aren't working 40, 50, 60 hours a week there is nothing to do and it becomes 'boring'. They 'live to work'. They can't understand why anyone who want to retire, they want to work forever!
2. Those who 'work to live' but not 'live to work'. This seems to be the most popular type. These people wished they didn't have to work but don't mind their job too much and the income that it brings.
3. Those who don't work but wished they were working. This is usually students who wished they had more cash, or homemakers who used to have great careers but are now at home looking after their young children and prefer their old life. Retirees, also who wish for their job to give them 'something to do'.
4. Then there is the non-working type who don't mind not working.

I obviously fit into category 4 and my husband into category 2. My father, category 1. Retirees can either fit into 3 or 4.

I guess for workaholics (1) you are deemed a lazy arse if you don't work. Simple. For non workaholics who work (2) they are - dare I say it - jealous of anyone who doesn't have to work.

My husband and I agree that as long as you have something meaningful to do with your time then not working is fine (obviously assuming that you can get by on one income). So, the million dollar question is: What do I do with all my free time?

First of all, I am not someone who likes to fill their week with endless activities one after the other. It in fact exhausts me and I am perfectly happy to do just 'nothing'. I do not get bored easily.

The things I have managed to do since being here are:

1. Perfecting my cooking ability. I have gone to being totally incompetent to maybe quite alright.
2. Learning and continue to get better in Mandarin.
3. Taking up learning Spanish.
4. Working on my website which will hopefully get me an income in the near future.
5. Meeting up with friends.
6. Eating out with my husband and just 'growing together' to use a corny phrase.
7. Going to the gym and staying fit
8. Going to the Chinese herbal doctor (TCM) on a regular basis so she can fix all the things 'wrong' with my body.

I can honestly say that I feel a lot happier and healthier than when I was back home.
I haven't been sick in ages, my skin looks better, my hair and nails are strong and grow like crazy.

How can anyone say that my life is unfulfilling? Bah to them, I love my life! :)

Ahh... such is the life.

Today I had quite an enjoyable and interesting day.

Started off by getting up early and leaving the house at 8am, then coming back and getting ready to go to the gym at 10am for a pilates class. Meanwhile, got an email from my sister saying she needed an invitation for a birthday party she is having. She wanted it by 11:30am. Umm.. it was now 9am and I had to get ready for the class. Not long later, I get my expat wife friend chatting to me through gmail and asked if I was free to meet up for lunch. I had planned on going to Carrefour and some other shops but I hadn't seen her in maybe a month so I said, OK, sure.

So I frantically designed this invite, emailed it off to my sister, went to the gym class (was a bit late), did an hour of pilates (and boy does my neck and back hurt now, not to mention I realised my stomach muscles suck, and my hamstrings are totally inflexible!) Got chatting to a middle-aged lady that I met before, 2 weeks ago when I turnee up for a Chinese dance class which unfortunately was the last class. It was such a funny class I was trying so hard not to laugh at the movements and then when hubby got home I performed them for him, then he mimicked ME and we were both laughing hysterically! :D

Then I did 10 mins on the treadmill, walked back home and got ready to leave. Also was frantically tidying the house for my guest!

She picked me up and we drove to a vegetarian restaurant for lunch. It was kind of Buddhist style in that everything was made to look like meat, and in some cases even tasted like meat. The restaurant was surprisingly busy and crowded. We both also loved that it was non-smoking (a rarity in China!) and everything was organic, fresh, and clean.

Afterwards she was going to take me to the fake market (after I asked where she got her nice handbag from) but instead decided to go to the hairdresser instead. I was glad I had not washed my hair (no time) so I followed her and got my hair washed and blow dried too. We were there for over an hour! In that time I also got an extensive head, shoulder, neck and upper back massage. All for 23 RMB. The other day hubby got a haircut for 10 RMB and was raving about how good it was so it goes to show you that price doesn't always dictate quality in China!

The guy washing my hair wanted to sell me some really expensive Kerastase vials of some 'anti hair loss' liquid. He started getting me all paranoid about my hairloss but it was so ridiculously expensive of course I didn't buy any! He also asked whether I was from overseas and why I had 'returned' to China. I said I am not returning because I never lived here! haha. Anyway we left and I felt very relaxed. I got professional blow dry and my hair had never looked better. It looks so straight and shiny.

I forgot to mention that whilst driving from the restaurant to the hairdresser the strangest thing happened. I started telling my friend about the day I took a bus to Huaihai Lu (and the trip took an hour <_< ) and walked for 6 hours straight in the boiling hot sun. I was crazy. Now I can barely do 10 minutes! I walked from Maison Mode / Times Square, onto Changle Lu, then Maoming Lu and then back onto Huaihai Lu and Parksons. On the way I passed so many places I wanted to go to it just wasn't feasible to keep getting on and off a taxi, train or bus so I just walked the whole way.

I meant to do a post about that mammoth day that night or the day after but I was sooooo exhausted that even 24 hours later after I arrived home I could still barely move!

On Monday I went to Carrefour after going to the Chinese herbal doctor (TCM) (which is my Monday morning routine), and was basically killing time wandering around the upper floor (which sells non-food items). I saw a bargain desk and I had to have it! I have been killing my back sitting on a hard wooden dining chair and wanted a desk chair but instead I found the perfect desk, for a bargain 159 RMB so I got both the desk and a desk chair. The computer desk has a slide out drawer (good ergonomics and all that) and is the exact same honey wood colour as all our other furniture so it matches. The chair is padded with armrests and castors. It is super comfy and has good lower back support. I asked a sales assistant if they had any in stock (not seeing any on the floor) and how I would get it delivered to me. He said that there would be more coming in and when they came he would deliver AND assemble for me. I said I didn't need it assembled (since hubby loves putting things together like all guys do) and he said it was only 10 RMB extra so I thought why not. So right now, the man is here busy screwing in all the parts together. He is super fast too. In the time I have typed up the last 4 paragraphs (and I'm a very fast typer) he has almost finished putting the desk together. It cost us a whopping 50 RMB to have the desk and chair delivered and assembled.

I love China! ;) :)